How To Change Your Life So Fast In 6 Months It Feels ILLEGAL.
I used to believe in the arrival fallacy.
This is a magical destination where everything in life is safe, secure, and predictable. Where every day feels like complete life satisfaction and utter bliss. There’s no down. Just all up.
But there is no such thing as ‘arriving’.
Feeling 100% satisfied never lasts.
No matter what you achieve, experience, or accomplish, the feeling of satisfaction rarely lasts over 48 hours. The high of accomplishment fades over time. To compensate, you need to keep chasing the next high. But every accomplishment feels emptier.
Life is a never-ending series of games.
Here are the best ones to play.
I’m at a unique stage of my life.
Turning 30 this year, I’ve been reflecting a lot.
I’ve achieved a lot in my 20s, I’ve:
Won 5x awards.
Started and sold a business.
Built a 100k+ global audience.
Bought land and built a house.
Spoken on international stages.
Been appointed to government boards.
Secured a book deal with Earnshaw Books.
Live between Melbourne, Singapore and Bali.
Scaled another one-person business to multiple six-figures.
I don’t say all this to brag.
But I feel like I’m at a crossroads for what I want to achieve next.
When I was younger, I thought that if I achieved all of this, I’d be content for life. I would be so satisfied at this point in my life that I wouldn’t need to do anything else.
Now that I’m at this point, I can safely tell you:
That’s all bullsht.*
Satisfaction almost never comes.
You will never feel like you’ve arrived.
My brain is wired to keep me in a constant state of dissatisfaction. No matter what I achieve, the country I move to, or the novel experience I have. I’m never 100% satisfied for more than a day (or two).
If you’re a Type-A overachiever, this would probably resonate with you.
Here’s what to do about it.
A few months ago, I was experiencing burnout.
My business was going through a rocky patch.
Clients were churning. I onboarded clients that weren’t a proper fit. I wasn’t excited about travelling anymore. My writing felt bland and uninspiring. I started to crave stability and security.
I got to Bali feeling a bit meh about life.
Nothing excited me. I’ve been burned out enough times to notice the signs. I now know when I need to go slower and take a break from everything.
While in Bali, I started taking lessons in:
Improving handstands.
Learning Bahasa Indonesian.
Getting strong at straight bar muscle-ups.
While these things had nothing to do with work, I felt energised.
I felt a deeper sense of purpose.
I felt connected. I got a level of self-confidence from things independent of revenue targets, follower growth, or word count. After a few weeks, I felt my life energy come roaring back.
From there, I could feel the momentum coming back.
Everything felt better. Focus, creativity, and I felt like a more positive person again.
But that’s when I realized:
Burnout doesn’t happen from doing too much.
Burnout happens from not doing enough of the right things.
The antidote to burnout is not less connection. It’s creating more connections.
We are sold a myth that burnout means you should be doing nothing.
Sit in a semi-comatose state in bed 24/7. Fill yourself with junk food. Don’t exercise. Socially isolate yourself. And complain endlessly about your situation.
That’s rarely ever worked for me.
I end up feeling more anxious and depressed.
If you’re dissatisfied with your life, do X
Instead:
Become aware of the signs of burnout.
Engage with hobbies you enjoy but haven’t done in a while.
Find a group of friends where you can be completely yourself.
Understand what season of life you’re in.
Ever since my early 20s, I’ve wanted to do a PhD.
Not to have a career in academia, but for the challenge.
There’s an intrinsic drive in me to see how far I could push myself intellectually. Similar to how people like to do triathlons or write books. There’s no real award aside from seeing how far you push yourself physically and intellectually.
For a while, I felt guilty for having this desire.
I’m not sure why.
But there was a voice in my head saying people in the business world would judge me for having a PhD. But after a while, I didn’t care. I want to do what I want to do. The only person I need to answer to is my 80-year-old self.
I asked myself:
At 80 years old, what would I regret more?
The answer became clear.
Being 30 with no partner and kids, I’ve got a unique period of time where I can fully commit to a PhD with pure focus. I can also stack my sales, positioning, and marketing skills on top of my PhD to make it economically viable. The research and status could even help my business.
The untapped resource of universities is their network.
There are so many customers within its network that are underserved. I would aim for my PhD in a topic that I’m deeply interested in (business) with a commercial interest. I could monetize my PhD at each step of the way through consulting, coaching and advisor.
Not to mention opportunities for:
Branding.
Access to networks.
I have a belief that universities will make a comeback in a world of AI.
In Australia, universities are a $50 billion export. It’s the country’s 4t largest export. This sector won’t go down overnight. But their role and purpose in society will change. Universities roles will start to incubate business and become a known for their physical gathering place.
I also think universities will become validators of knowledge.
We are living in a trust recession. People will look towards institutions to help them navigate the uncertainty. I think universities will move into those roles to uphold trust.
People get stuck because they get the seasons of their life wrong.
Don’t try to expect summer weather in winter. You’re setting yourself up for failure. And a couple of months of misery.
ADD wrap-up sentence.
Following your energy.
I’ve stopped trying to hustle.
When I was younger, I thought I could muscle way through any problem. This worked. Especially for level 1 and beginner problems. But as I get older and my problems get more complex, I need to follow where my creative energy is leading me.
Recently, I’ve become interested in videography.
I find myself drawn to people who can tell stories via photo or film. I watch film theory on YouTube, I follow video-based creators on Instagram, and I find myself looking up breakdowns on iconic scenes.
Don’t get me wrong.
I still love writing and will write every morning until the day I die. But I find my interests maturing. A new creative pursuit will allow me to apply my writing in new and interesting ways.
So, I’ve decided to make an investment in:
iPad for illustrations and drawing.
Sony A7iiii for video and photos.
This is almost $5k I’m investing in myself.
But energy flows where investment goes.
I’m becoming better at following where my intuition is leading me. I’m stepping off the prescribed path. I’m doing things that don’t have an immediate financial return.
For a Type-A overachiever, this can be a scary thought.
Letting go is not my strongest character trait. I’m a structured, process-driven person. I like to have the same routine everyday. Eat the same thing for lunch. And not deviate from my daily structure.
But I’m trying to learn to trust myself more over time.
There’s a voice in your head that’s telling you what you need to do next. Don’t ignore it. There’s something you’ve always wanted to try. Stop denying your human nature.
The roadmap to changing your life.
Changing your life is straightforward.
The process is simple. But not easy. If it were easy, everyone would do it.
But we all know that person whose life doesn’t seem to change.
Even when they complain about it every day. I have 0 sympathy for people like that. Complain or improve. It’s hard to do both at the same time.
So, if you want to change your life, do this:
Find more connections beyond work and career.
Understand what season of life you’re in.
Unleash your creative energy
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