There is nothing more tragic in life than seeing wasted potential.

“The unexamined life is not worth living” — Socrates

I am at a stage in my life where I see people who once had so much energy for life transform into Netflix-bingeing potatoes.

Life goals have been tossed in the bin and they are settling into ‘safe’ careers and relationships that are mediocre at best and toxic at their worst.

The most tragic part? It’s mostly their fault.

Here are the most common mistakes I see them make.

They surround themselves with mediocre relationships

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” — Tony Robbins

Your relationships are the most important aspect of your life. As Frank Crane once wrote, a good friend “doubles every joy and halves every defeat.”

Who you choose to surround yourself with is revealing. If you show me the people you surround yourself with and I can roughly predict the type of person you will be in 10 years.

Relationships provide the backbone for every success you enjoy or can be the liability that keeps you stuck where you are.

As Tim Ferriss once said,

“You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they’re making you weaker.”

Improve your life by changing who you spend your time with. Don’t give any time and attention to those who treat you poorly or are consistently negative.

The people you spend time with should inspire you or have a positive impact on your life. If you dread spending time with someone or feel like they drain your energy, it's time to move on.

They don’t take responsibility and always play the victim

Being a victim is easier than taking responsibility.

We all know someone where nothing is ever their fault and no problem is caused by their actions. But if you look at the state of their lives, you’ll find very little growth.

Your life improves in proportion to how much responsibility you take. The more responsibility you take, the better your life. You could almost map it on a graph, the relationship is that clear.

“Your life becomes meaningful in precise proportion to the depths of the responsibility you are willing to shoulder,” writes Jordan Peterson in his book Beyond Order.

My personal finances only improved once I started to be accountable for every dollar I spent.

My personal relationships got more meaningful when I took the time to invest in them.

My business transformed once I started to implement the right operating systems and resources.

My mental health improved once I started seeing a therapist and stopped blaming my parents.

In short, the victim mentality is a sterile environment for growth. Taking responsibility is steriods for your growth.

You can never really control what happens to you or what others do. All you can control is your own emotions and how you choose to react in any given situation.

That’s your power. Don’t give it up so easily.

They have mediocre habits

“You first make your habits, then your habits make you”

— Josh Dryden.

We all have habits, but not all habits are created equally.

Investing in positive habits works to make your life better, investing in mediocre habits works to make your life worse. The choice is yours.

Remember that good habits make time your friend, while bad habits make time your enemy.

Mediocre habits:

• Mindlessly scrolling through social media

• Filling your body with overly processed foods

• Distracted work that prevents flow-state productivity

Fill your day with too many mediocre habits and watch your potential go down the drain.

These are the five non-negotiable habits I’ve used to radically improve my life:

• Writing

• Reading

• Meditation

• Exercise

• Connection with people, purpose and nature

If you aggregate the habits of the most successful people, you’ll find that there are striking commonalities between them.

As William Makepeace Thackeray once said:

“Successful people aren’t born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don’t like to do.”

Replace one bad habit with one good habits every few months and watch your life transform over the course of a year.

They are negative and pessimistic most of the time

Forget COVID-19, pessimism is the contagion the world needs to combat.

In a time of polarization and conflict, there is no shortage of ways to be negative. Pessimism is a mind virus that can infect every part of your life if you aren’t careful.

Research studies indicate that negativity is contagious, like getting a cold. “Feelings circulate in patterns analogous to what’s seen from epidemiological models of disease,” reported Wired.

Unlike COVID-19, you can’t be vaccinated against negativity. No matter how positive you are, negative people can affect your life. The only antidote to negativity is abstinence.

If you find yourself being consistently negative, you are wasting your precious mental energy on a toxic trait. Think of your mental energy like water. It can be used to grow beautiful flowers or ugly weeds in your mind.

As Elon Musk once said:

I would rather be optimistic and wrong than pessimistic and right.

You can’t try to make the world better if you can’t see a better world in the first place.

They constantly compare and compete with others

Focus on what you have and you gain what you lack.

Focus on what you lack and you lose what you have.

— Greg McKeown

Comparison with others makes you bitter.

Comparison with yourself makes you better.

Aim to become better, not bitter.

Closing thoughts:

Living a mediocre life is a choice.

If you don’t surround yourself with good relationships…

If you don’t learn to take responsibility…

If you don’t cultivate powerful habits…

If you are always negative and pessimistic…

If you constantly compare yourself with others…

You’ll never reach your full potential.

If you want to experience the heights of where your life can take you, make better choices today.

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