These Seven Short Questions Will Help You Find Your Purpose If You’re Feeling Stuck And Lost.

Ask yourself better questions and you’ll get better answers.

Humans require a purpose to live.

It’s why athletes can become depressed after winning gold in the Olympics, or astronauts spiral into a deep melancholy after returning from space.

They have achieved a goal they have been working a lifetime for.

“What do I do next?”

If the most successful people on our planet can fall victim to purposelessness, we can too.

It’s normal.

If you’re currently feeling a bit lost, or going through a major life transition, here are seven questions to get you back on track.

#1: What are you currently optimizing your life for?

If you spent five years doing the same thing you’re doing now, where would you end up? Better or worse?

If it’s better, keep doing what you’re doing. And slowly improve to scale what is good and what is working.
If it’s worse, stop doing what you’re doing. Take steps to replace the bad habits and create better ones.

Takeaway: The trajectory of your life is more important than speed.

#2: If you achieved all your current goals, what would that mean to you?

Visualize your success.

Think about how it would look, feel, and sound.

So many people fall into the trap of creating goals without any reflection or interrogation about ‘why’ they want to achieve these goals.

Most goals are:

Programming from childhood.
Expectations from family.
Given to you by society.

I can bet you that most of the goals you set are extrinsically motivated. They would revolve around some form of status or money.

But extensive research shows that extrinsic goals are not satisfying. No matter how much money you make or the status you have, you’ll remain the same person.

The most rewarding goals are intrinsically motivated. They fulfill a deep desire for control, autonomy and freedom.

Takeaway: Intrinsic motivation > Extrinsic motivation

#3: What game are you trying to play?

Life is a series of games.

Most are worth playing. Many should be avoided. And some games you should win and then stop playing them.

The most common games we play:

Money
Career
Status

These are all finite games. Win them and then move on.

Infinite games:

Creativity
Family
Spirituality

Once you understand which games you’re playing, ask yourself: What’s the cost of winning these games?

Takeaway: Infinite games > finite games

#4: What identity are you trying to create?

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you are becoming.

Do your actions today match up with the person you want to become tomorrow?

If you want to be an entrepreneur, are you researching the problem you’re trying to solve every day?

If you want to be a writer, are you writing every day?

You don’t need to wait until you’re successful in attaining an identity.

You could be whatever you want today if you took the right steps to become that person.

Takeaway: Focus your efforts on daily actions, not long-term goals.

#5: What would your dream day or week look like?

If you could create the perfect day, what would that be?

Forget about being realistic. This is not the time to constrain yourself.

Think big. You don’t need to be humble or think about anyone else.

What would you spend most of your time doing?

Don’t just say, sitting on a beach, sipping a cocktail. That sh*t gets old really quickly.

For me, I wanted to be able to work for 4–5 hours per day and spend the rest of the time reading, writing and spending time with friends and family.

Create a vision of your ideal day. Take steps to make that a reality. You might not achieve all of it, but even getting 80% of the way there would make your life better.

Takeaway: A clear vision is a kind vision.

#6: What would your nightmare day look like?

Create an anti-vision for your life.

Now that you know what you do want, start thinking about what you don’t want to do every day.

This could include having pointless meetings, working in a meaningless job, or being away from family.

Your vision will pull you toward your ideal life.

Your anti-vision will push you away from your nightmare life.

Sometimes you need to be pulled.

Sometimes you need to be pushed.

As humans, we respond to stimuli by moving away or towards it.

The combination of both is powerful in generating action.

Takeaway: Pull + Push = Action.

#7: What would happen if you died tomorrow?

Write your own eulogy. Sounds grim I know.

What are the things you would want your close friends and family to remember you by?

Think about how you spent your time and does that match up with the life you want to remember.

The pain of thinking about your mortality can be enough to spur you to create change.

Takeaway: Death defines your purpose. Life gives you a chance to fulfil that purpose.

Takeaway:

Take yourself out for a nice dinner with a pen and notepad.

Ask yourself these questions:

What are you currently optimizing your life for?
If you achieved all your current goals, what would that mean to you
What game are you trying to play?
What identity are you trying to create?
What would your dream day or week look like?
What would your nightmare day look like?
What would happen if you died tomorrow?

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