You may not be where you want to be yet, but here are some signs you’re on the right track.

How do you know you’re becoming the person you want to be?

This question has caused more existential dread than I care to admit.

But there are signs you can look out for during your journey.

Here are some I’ve discovered.

#1: You Have A Hard Time Telling Friends and Family What You Actually Do

When you’re following what makes you unique, it can be hard to explain that to the people around you.

As Dr. Seuss once said,

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

At events with friends and family, I am constantly asked: so, what do you actually do?

At first, I always interpreted this question defensively. My south-east Asian upbringing has given me a built-in radar for traumatic interrogation by loving but nosy family and friends.

Nowadays, I use this question as a sign that I am living closer to my purpose and uniqueness.

A general rule of thumb:

The quicker people can categorize you, the less likely you are to be living closer to your purpose.

#2: You No Longer View Work As Separate From Your Life

Alignment to your purpose means murky boundaries between who you are and what you do every day.

This can be a blessing or a curse.

People around me think I work 24/7. Which, technically speaking, is true.

But everything I do for ‘work’ is built off the back of a passion or interest that I have. So just by naturally being me, I am working.

But it doesn’t feel like work. I feel like I am playing and exploring all the unique things that make me, me. I feel refreshed after reading a book or writing for hours on the weekend.

As the rapper, Jack Harlow sings in his song What's Poppin,

“Some people call it a scary obsession (ooh, scary obsession, but) I like to call it a passion”

When you find your purpose, don’t be surprised to see your identity reflected in everything you do.

#3: You Become Less Attached To Brand Names

Corporations are brands.

So many of my friends are sucked into the trap of corporate brand consumption, moving from job to job in the hopes of one day getting to the holy grail of BCG, McKinsey, Google, or Amazon.

They don’t even realize they are being trapped in golden handcuffs.

Instead of taking the time to reflect and explore to understand what they really value from life, they have outsourced this job to a company.

They are so desperate to remove their ambiguity that they trade in their happiness tomorrow for certainty today.

As Shane Parrish once said:

“The quicker you want something, the easier you are to manipulate.”

When you know what you want, you’re less likely to be swayed by shiny objects or the dangle of a corporate vision with benefits.

Your identity should be made by what you think you should be not by some corporate slogan, fancy logo, or job title.

Choose to choose yourself.

#4: You Become Unreasonable

“Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.” — George Bernard Shaw

When you have a purpose, you become unreasonable.

Being unreasonable is not the same as being an assh*le. It is simply knowing what you want and what you don’t want.

You are firm with your values.

• You know what you won’t settle for.

• You know what values you won’t compromise.

• You know what type of work you won’t do.

As Sinem Gunel writes, “most people will tell you, “you need to know what you want in life,” but the truth is, knowing what you don’t want is equally powerful.”

All the world shapers are unreasonable people.

Elon Musk refused to believe that you couldn’t create a compelling electric vehicle. Martin Luther King refused to accept the reality of racial inequality in our society.

“It’s important to figure out who you’re not, in order to figure out who you are,” writes Jay Shetty

In a world that lacks purpose, these people stand out from the crowd.

Most people stand for nothing. That’s why they fall for anything.

#5 You Love The Process, Not The Results.

One day in 1671, Christopher Wren observed three bricklayers on a scaffold, one crouched, one half-standing and one standing tall, working very hard and fast.

To the first bricklayer, Christopher Wren asked the question, “What are you doing?” to which the bricklayer replied, “I’m a bricklayer. I’m working hard laying bricks to feed my family.”

The second bricklayer, responded, “I’m a builder. I’m building a wall.”

But the third bricklayer, the most productive of the three and the future leader of the group, when asked the question, “What are you doing?” replied with a gleam in his eye, “I’m a cathedral builder. I’m building a great cathedral to The Almighty.”

(Source)

They were all doing the same thing.

But what they thought about the job was different.

The first worker had a job.

The second worker had a career.

The third worker had a calling.

When you have a calling, you have a total commitment to the process and a total detachment to the outcome.

You love doing what you do for the sake of doing it. Any external rewards are just a bonus. It is the internal rewards of working towards a mission and purpose that drive you the most.

Remember that the person who loves walking will walk further than the person who loves the destination.

#6 You Can Celebrate When Other People Wins

When you’re working towards your purpose, you’re not in competition with anyone.

You’ve escaped competition through your authenticity.

The slowest road to finding your purpose is when you’re busy comparing yourself to others. Why waste that time and energy?

Judging and complaining about others is cancer to finding your purpose.

When you’re aligned to your own purpose, other people’s wins don’t bother you. You aren’t playing the same game. Their success doesn’t impede your success.

Competition with others makes you better. Competition with yourself makes you better. Become better, not bitter.

Closing thoughts:

The journey to finding your purpose is never-ending.

If you feel completely lost in your purpose, that’s okay. Self-awareness is the first step. Don’t judge yourself too early. You’ve got time. It’s not about how slow you go, just as long as you don’t stop.

If you have a purpose but are not where you want to be yet, test and experiment. You don’t deepen your purpose through theory, only action. Your purpose exists, don’t settle until you get it.

If you are finding your purpose is changing, embrace it. A change in purpose signifies growth or accomplishment. What you wanted in your 20s will change in your 30s. And maybe again in your 40s.

At the end of the day, the journey towards finding your purpose can be more rewarding than the destination. Appreciate the progress you’ve made. Be proud of the person you’re becoming. And celebrate with those who you love.

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