The 3 Risks Every 20-Something Needs To Take Before Turning 30

If you want to grow, you will have to go through the pain.

Photo: janilson furtado/Unsplash

Choosing a life devoid of risk is choosing a life devoid of growth.

There is no getting around it:

If you want to grow, you will have to go through pain.

The pain of change. The pain of starting something new. The pain of uncertainty. You can’t travel on the same road and expect to end up at a different destination. You can’t expect a reward without taking any risks.

Everyone wants to improve their lives, but most are unwilling to go through legitimate suffering to grow. Many are called, but few are chosen. This is your opportunity to stand out.

The number of calculated risks you’re willing to take will be equivalent to the amount of growth you will have.

You will have to take risks in your 20s. It is not optional. Taking risks is the defining feature of your twenty-something life. And remember: you won’t regret the risks you did take, but more likely the risks you didn’t take.

I am not saying to be impulsive and take every risk out there. Not all risks in your 20s are created equally. There are some risks you should take, such as quitting your job and starting that business. And others you should avoid entirely, like not wearing a seat belt when you drive.

Here are a few more risks you should take in your 20s.

Risk #1 — The Most Important Risk To Take

If you’re unwilling to tolerate the pain of loss, you will be unable to experience the pleasure of gain. Learning in your 20s is a constant investment in the loss. You will have to sacrifice your time, energy, and resources to learn.

You can apply this to starting a career, learning a new skill or developing romantic relationships. Every one of these things requires you to take on the risk of losing something.

You might be fired, suck at a skill for a long time or be left heartbroken. These things are painful. The emotional damage they can cause can leave some people feeling bitter and resentful.

Unable to see the lessons in hardship, many are determined never to risk losing ever again. Avoidance becomes a self-defensive mechanism.

They close themselves off from ever having to feel this again. They refuse to risk losing once more. A ship may be safe in the harbor, but that’s not what ships are made for.

I get it. Breakups suck. Getting fired doesn’t feel good. Constantly looking like a fool when learning a new skill can be painful. I recently broke up with my partner. Despite knowing it wasn’t going to work for a long time, the sense of loss broke me for a couple of weeks.

But without the risk of losing, I would have never gotten the chance to fall in love with someone. And then come to understand what I need from a relationship and a partner. This hard-earned wisdom will make my future romantic relationships better.

Through this experience, I realized that to grow into my potential; I have to be willing to lose in the short term to win in the long term.

Put yourself on there. Go for a job you think you won’t get. Allow yourself to fall in and out of love. Understand the deep life lessons that these experiences will give you. You will have time to recover from them, and the knowledge and wisdom you gain will be invaluable.

The people who have won the most in life are often the ones who have also lost the most. They have faced numerous setbacks and challenges. And it is through overcoming them do they become a better version of themself.

Risk #2 — You Won’t Achieve Anything Without Taking This Risk

According to social psychologist Meg Jay, you are going to make 80% of life’s major decisions by 35. Who to marry, where to live, what career path and whether to have children.

All these decisions require one thing: commitment.

Nothing worthwhile in life comes from a lack of commitment.

Ambiguity in what you want leads to ambiguity in what you get.

Olympians don’t win gold medals by accident, nor can you build a start-up electric car company reluctantly.

Everything great in life comes with commitment. Successful careers, marriages and great relationships.

Often the worst decision you can make in your life is making none at all.

What stops people from committing? The fear of public failure. Once you commit yourself to something, you are getting specific on what you want to achieve. There is now a clear definition of failure and success.

For many people, that can be overwhelming. They can no longer hide in ambiguity. Their dreams are now not so distant after all. Dreams are easy to have, but having the conviction to achieve your dreams can be scary.

You will often meet people in life who abscond from having any goals. They profess not to conform to society’s expectations of them. Their energy can be seductive and refreshing. But often, this covers up the deep feelings of insecurity and inadequacy they feel about themselves.

Their inability to have any goals comes from design, not by choice.

Commitment can feel like a double-edged sword. But it is through committing to something that you learn about yourself. How do you respond to adversity? How do you respond to changing circumstances? How do you deal with criticism?

As Jordan B Peterson has said:

“It is far better to become something than to remain anything but become nothing.”

If you don’t commit to things you want in life, then you will have already failed. You can’t attempt to achieve goals you refuse to set.

Risk #3 — The Risk of Responsibility

I recently bought a piece of land and will be building a house on it later in the year. When I signed the contract and paid the deposit, I felt dread. Despite already being an adult, buying a house seemed to signify that I was no longer a child anymore.

For a couple of weeks, I was sadder than I was happy about the purchase. I should have been ecstatic. This is an incredible investment in my future. I was finally becoming an adult and paving my own way through life.

But the weight of responsibility started to feel very heavy. It dawned on me the responsibilities of having a mortgage. I suddenly longed to be a carefree child again. Not having any responsibilities and having someone else take care of my every need.

Once this feeling passed, I noticed my behaviors started to change. I became more focused on my personal finance and aware of the financial decisions I was making. I started to appreciate budgeting and creating a plan for myself.

I became intentional with every purchase I made. I would scrutinize whether I needed this item and how much value I would get out of it. The risk of impending responsibility forced me to adapt and become a better version of myself.

It was only when I put myself in a position of more responsibility did I start to grow. I always knew I had to improve my personal finance but never really had the incentive to do so until now.

Having responsibilities made me feel more empowered and independent. I was making decisions and choices on my own. I was becoming my own definition of adulthood.

That’s when I learned:

Feeling better doesn’t come from avoiding adulthood, it comes from investing in adulthood.

Opportunities for your growth are hidden behind the responsibilities you refuse to take. For so long, I didn’t want to be responsible for my financial journey. But once I did, I grew in ways I never thought imaginable.

When I talked to my friends about this experience, I realized I wasn’t alone in this journey. This seems to be a pretty common feeling for many young people who are becoming emerging adults.

As psychologist Scott Peck observes:

“A very few march unambivalently and unhesitatingly into adulthood, ever eager for new and greater responsibilities. Most drag their feet and in fact never become more than partial adults, always shrinking from the demands of total adulthood.”

Many of my friends are terrified of the demands of adulthood. But my experience tells me it gets better the sooner you accept reality. Responsibility makes you grow.

What responsibilities are you neglecting to take in your life?

Start there.

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