My Bulletproof Method For Overcoming Anxiety And Stress
A proven antidote for when life feels out of control.
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash
You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.
— Paulo Coelho
There will be times in your life when everything feels overwhelming.
I am going through such a time. In the space of one month, I’ve:
Quit my secure, six-figure, Director-level job
Ended a romantic relationship
Started my own business
Signed two massive clients
Applied for a PhD
Started building my house on land I purchased last year
Traveled to New Zealand
MC’ed my brother's wedding
And oh yeah, I also turned 27 years old at some point too.
Phew.
I had to take a deep breath after that. That’s a lot of things for one person to go through in one year, let alone one month.
Whilst I feel that these are all great things to happen and my life is trending in the right direction, the amount of change mixed with the speed of change has left me feeling more anxious and stressed than I usually am.
Understanding that you are going through a tough time is the first thing you need to acknowledge. There is no point denying it. Acceptance breeds action.
Here are some actions you can take:
#1 Start with this activity first.
During hard times, people’s default is to sit down and binge Netflix. But all Netflix does is numb yourself to what you’re feeling.
Resist this urge. The best thing you can do is channel that anxiety into exercise.
Make your body move. Whatever you want your mind to do, make your body do it first.
Whenever I hit the gym hard, my anxiety and stress don’t just disappear. They are transformed into more positive and productive emotions. Problems no longer seem so big. Challenges no longer seem so insurmountable.
Exercise is the best anti-anxiety pill you can take. I find it almost impossible to be negative after working out. I walk out of the gym a new man ready to take on the world again.
#2: This becomes harder just when you need it most.
Meditation feels the hardest when you need it most.
If meditation were easy, everyone would be a zen monk.
When I feel like life is going too fast, the perfect counterbalance is slowing down for a period of time. Even if it is only 10 minutes. Meditation makes me more empathetic towards myself.
After meditating, I don’t feel so rushed. The pressures I feel are usually arbitrary and self-imposed. I start to appreciate life in a different way.
If you meditate on your mortality as I do, you’ll also come to the realization that nothing really matters in the grand scheme of things. I am but a fleeting speck of dust on a floating rock in an infinite universe.
When I die, nothing I did will really matter. I can only try my best. Sounds like a grim thought but I think it is quite liberating. It takes the pressure off me.
#3: Eat some nature.
Sugar makes my anxiety go through the roof. Too much salt and my brain gets scrambled.
When I am going through emotional stress, my stomach becomes more sensitive. Foods that I don’t usually have a problem with can put me on the toilet for hours (TMI? Soz. Just being honest).
Avoid processed foods. Eat more vegetables.
#4: See some green and blue.
The problem with my anxiety is thinking too much about myself and my problems.
There is nothing quite like staring into the vast ocean to put things into perspective. Or hiking through a mountain range and viewing the scenery from the top.
Nature takes me out of my thoughts like nothing else could. Take a swim in the ocean or spend a day in the bush. You’ll come out feeling more creative and grounded.
#5: Friends and family
Connection to people is the antidote to stress and anxiety.
One of the mistakes I made when I started to feel overwhelmed was to isolate myself. “I am too busy” I would tell myself or “I don’t want to burden people with my problems”.
Giving people the opportunity to see your vulnerability and care for you deepens the relationship. Don’t just share your achievements, share your struggles too.
You’ll feel better. People around you will feel better. Everyone wins.
#6: Talking to a professional
My therapist is like the second coming of Jesus for me.
I would worship the ground he steps on if I could. He has personally supported me through painful break-ups, my parent's divorce and numerous life transitions.
I know therapy can be expensive. I am lucky to live in a country (Australia) that provides 20 free therapy sessions per year. But even if I had to pay money, I would do it.
Investment in my mental health always pays the best dividends.
#7: Make everything easy.
When life gets difficult, make everything easy.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
When I find that even the simplest of tasks are overwhelming, I will tell myself that I only need to do it for 5 minutes. I can’t do less than that time but there is no pressure for me to do more.
Do you know what usually happens? After the initial discomfort of the first 5 minutes, I build the momentum and ability to focus to work for 30 minutes.
Those days when I can only muster 10–15minutes, I give myself a break. I don’t punish myself for not being more productive. That would only make things worse. Suspend your judgment for another time (or never).
Making things easy when things are hard, enables you to build momentum for the rest of your day.
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