40 Short Life Lessons I Learned From Reading Over 100 Self Development Books
Deep lessons in personal finance, self-help and growth in under 5 minutes.
Whenever I feel guilty about buying a new book, I remember that I am purchasing knowledge that someone spent a lifetime learning for $30.
You don’t get a better return on investment than that.
Here are some life lessons I’ve learned:
A person’s past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior. In the words of Maya Angelou, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Most success in your life is due to consistency, not talent. Eighty percent of life is just showing up no matter what. Repetition and discipline beat talent. Look at Tom Brady.
You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you expect. Your mindset becomes a self-fulling prophecy. Therefore, the attitude towards life determines the altitudes you will reach in life.
Your happiness is having the correct balance in your life. The unique balance of meaningful work, relationships and opportunities. None of these things will give you happiness by themselves.
You are defined by your actions, not your words. Stop talking about what you want to achieve and start taking action to accomplish them.
Most people spend their entire lives either trying to be exactly like their parents or trying their hardest to be nothing like them at all. Understanding your childhood experiences can help you break this cycle.
You can’t remove an idea in someone’s head with logic that was not placed there by logic in the first place. Stay out of emotional debates. Few people are genuinely committed to the truth.
Most people don’t want to change so stop trying to make them. You only have three options: accept them, create clear boundaries or move on.
You can change your life simply by telling yourself a new story. The metaphors you tell yourself are the metaphors you live by. The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves.
You can’t grow without pain or suffering. It is painful to change your relationships, environment or mindset. Painless growth is only temporary relief, not a long-term cure.
You are responsible for what happens to you. Don’t play the victim. No one is coming to save you. Your happiness is your responsibility.
“Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. While it takes two people to create a relationship, it takes only one to end it.” — Gordon Livingston
Your greatest strengths are often your greatest weaknesses. What determines which is which often depends on context. What makes someone successful in their professional life can make them insufferable in their personal life.
If you never take risks, your life will never move forward. The greatest risk is never taking any. What is the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? The answer should give you all you need.
If you’re comfortable, you’ve plateaued. Comfort is fertile ground for mediocrity. Growth only happens when you’re uncomfortable.
Adversity only reveals what is inside of you. How did you use your time and energy during the pandemic? Did you improve your life or did it stay the same? Your answer is what is at the core of you.
Your mind is the greatest asset for your success in life. Before you achieve anything, you must be able to imagine first.
Success requires commitment. You can’t aim for a target you refuse to see. Ambiguity in your goals leads to ambiguity in your results.
If you have to constantly signal how virtuous you are you probably aren’t very virtuous. If someone has to say, “trust me, I am an honest person” how trustworthy are they really?
The only form of communication that can be trusted is someone’s behavior. There is a large gap between what people say and what people do. Judge actions, not words.
Any meaningful achievement takes a long time. Overnight successes don’t exist. What looks like instant success has been the result of decades of dedication and hard work.
Real wealth is measured in free time, not the accumulation of possessions. For the vast majority of people, I am convinced that fancy cars, big houses and expensive material possession cover up insecurities.
Most people don’t want good mental health. We all know that exercise, mindfulness, healthy eating and sleep will improve our well-being. Yet, how many people actually do these things?
Forgiveness sets you free. Holding onto anger and contempt is like drinking poison hoping your enemy will die.
If you play stupid games, you win stupid rewards. What are stupid games? Chasing status, money and prestigious roles.
A straight line is not always the fastest way to your achievements. A mixture of leverage, friction and physics results in the longest line being the fastest line.
Heart break-ups can’t be ignored. The only way out is through.
The value of achieving goals is not the goal itself. It is the process of having to become the person you need to become in order to achieve the goal.
Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from. Critics are not hard to find.
Hard choices now make your life easier later. Easy choices now, make your life harder later. All success in life comes down to a variation of the Marshmellow test and your ability to delay gratification.
You won’t get rich renting out your time. You need to invest or have equity in a business.
There is no perfect person for you. Romance movies paint a myth of the perfect stranger. It does not exist. And it is unfair on your future partner to have to live up to your ‘perfect’ ideal.
Reading is the most widely available superpower. Yet few people take advantage of this. Some people even pride themselves on not reading books.
Most people will only change when the cost of staying the same outweighs the cost of changing. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is good. Things might have to get worse before they get better.
Don’t attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity. Most of the world is not trying to fuck you over. Most of the world can do stupid things though, especially me.
Your environment is the most important factor in determining your success. If you hang around losers and people who are negative, guess what you’ll achieve? Not much.
Avoid high-conflict, low-integrity people. You know them when you see them. And if you don’t, you might be that person.
Understanding compound interest will make your life better. All the best returns in life operate under the law of compound interest: relationships, investments and your reputation.
Your level of discipline and conscientiousness are the biggest predictors of success in any field.
Remember life is short and you are going to die someday. Why live a life full of regret or trying to please other people’s expectations of you? Make your life yours.
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