Five Events That Permanently Changed My Life In 2021

5 Mar

And how the lessons I learned can help you live a better life in 2022.

Not all events in your life are created equally.

Some offer a momentary meaning. But are quickly forgotten. Others are more significant and have the potential to change your life forever.

Every year is unique in the events that will impact you.

From lockdowns to heartbreaks, 2021 was a year that had events that disproportionately shaped my life.

Written as part therapy, part personal development, I hope the events I experienced in 2021 can be used to change your thinking in 2022.

#1: Witnessing my parents get a divorce

One of the worst days of my life.

My parents had been separated for almost 5 years so this day didn’t come as a total surprise. The divorce was just an official end to a saga that went on for too long.

While necessary, witnessing how messy and emotionally gut-wrenching a divorce can be made me reflect deeply on relationships of every kind. Romantic, friendships and even colleagues.

This year I realized that great relationships are created, not found. They require constant investment to make them meaningful. Whether it is a marriage or a friendship, relationships are bloody hard work.

But the happiness in your life is directly proportional to the level of connection you have with others.

You’ll never get to your deathbed wishing you worked more or spent more time in the office. You will only reflect on the people in your life and how much you impacted them.

Invest in building meaningful relationships, they are the antidote to uncertainty.

#2: Seeing my childhood house being sold

I never knew how much emotion can be stored within bricks and mortar.

I lived in the same house for almost 20 years. I celebrated every milestone in that house. Primary, high school and university graduation, bringing home my first girlfriend and countless family dinners and memories.

But as part of the divorce, the family house had to be sold.

I thought I would be devastated but I was actually relieved. I felt an enormous weight off my shoulders and lighter after the house was sold.

I realized if I didn’t let go, I would be dragged.

This house had served me so well for 20 years, but it was time to move on and create a new foundation for myself. Last year, I purchased a block of land for myself and in 2022, I’ll be building my own house.

I am letting go of my childhood emotions and using them to create my life as an adult.

What’s something you are holding on to that you are better off letting go of?

#3: Going through a breakup on the same day I saw my childhood house being sold

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend on the same day that I sold my childhood house.

Talk about timing.

As the gavel banged to signify the end of the auction, it also hammered home that I didn’t want to be with this person anymore. I was miserable and emotionally burnout by this relationship.

I had tried for almost a year to make it work. I did everything I could. But it wasn’t meant to be.

Investing in meaningful relationships also means letting go of relationships that aren’t working. You can’t make space for meaning when it is being occupied by distraction.

Don’t settle for romantic relationships that are unsatisfying. I would rather be by myself than feel lonely in a relationship.

#4: Having a health scare (not COVID-19)

There is nothing like a health scare to give your life some perspective.

When you’re sick you only want one thing: to be well.

When you’re healthy you want a million things: money, status, and power.

It all turned out okay. I am healthy and well. But this brief false-positive scared the living daylights out of me and provided clarity to what was important in my life.

A health scare can reboot your gratitude levels.

It can wake you up from living your life on autopilot and sleepwalking your way through a meaningless job and unsatisfying relationships.

After I was cleared, I had an enormous surge of appreciation for living in a country with world-class medical facilities, a supportive network of friends and family and a deeper understanding of what I wanted out of life.

When you’re sick and scared, who are the people who show up for you? What do you want to spend your limited time doing?

#5: Living through the longest lockdown in the world

After spending more than 250 days in lockdown, Melbourne officially became the largest open-air prison in the world.

Congrats.

Two years of lockdown to suppress the COVID-19 virus divided the former most livable city in the world. People rioted, politicians lied and we also experienced an earthquake to top it all off.

It felt like the beginning of the end, with the world seemingly crumbling around me.

But living through such a crazy time in human history gave me the skills and mindset I needed to handle future adversity.

While you can’t control external events, you get to decide what you focus on.

Instead of bingeing on the news and getting outraged on social media, I used the additional time to scale my podcast, win my first freelance client and improve my writing skills.

I created multiple sources of income and made more money than I ever have before. I don’t say this to brag, but only to illustrate that adversity can reveal what your default mindset is.

Uncertainty is just an opportunity cloaked in pessimism.

If you approach any situation with optimism you’ll find opportunities hidden in plain sight. The decision is yours.

___________________________________________

If you enjoyed this article, you can connect with me HERE.

You can also support more of my work by becoming a Medium Member using my referral link: michael-lim.medium.com

Michael Lim