Here Are Eight Pieces Of Uncommon Life Advice I Would Give My 21-Year-Old Self
Whether you’re 21 or 60 years old, these eight pieces of life advice are timeless.
Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash
Most life advice I’ve ever received has been useless.
It’s mostly old people regurgitating the same useless platitudes that don’t apply in my context or are outdated for the times we are living in.
“Follow your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
“Work hard and good things will come to you.”
While they may make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, this advice is not helpful at all. Most people should not follow their passions and working hard does not equal just rewards.
Most people don’t even take the advice themselves.
This isn’t to say that all life advice is useless. Otherwise, I would have nothing to write about the self-development industry would implode on itself.
I’ve done the hard work for you. I’ve scrapped the crap and tested the best and worst life advice I’ve received. These are the ones that have worked the best for me and I’ve seen others use them too with success.
If I knew them when I was younger, I would be much further ahead in my journey.
But sometimes life advice comes to you when you’re ready to hear it. Are you ready? Let’s begin.
Life Advice #1: Growth is painful and expensive. Be prepared to pay the price.
You can grow into anything you want to be. But you can’t have everything along the way.
If you want to grow a business or excel in your career, your ability to invest in friendships and romantic relationships will be limited.
You might have to leave people behind, spend lots of time alone and single and be okay with feeling FOMO most of the time.
The entry ticket to growth is sacrifice and compromise. Get used to it.
Life Advice #2: “People don’t decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures” — F.M Alexander
Occasional greatness produces occasional results.
Consistently good produces consistent results.
While you may think you’re the best at 21, you won’t be talented in anything you’re doing at 27. And that’s okay. But you are consistently working towards getting better.
You do this by:
Reading 30 pages of a book every day.
Reading 4–5 pages of a research article every day.
I invest 45 minutes in doing an online course every day.
Exercising 5–6 times a week.
As Gretchen Rubin said, “What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.”
You can decide what your future looks like by what you do every day.
Life Advice #3: Money is important. Don’t let anyone tell you it's not. They are probably lying or broke.
“Money used as a tool is a superpower.
Money used as a motivation is a disease.
Physical and mental health is just as important as financial health.”
Money will make you happy.
But only if you use it for the right reasons.
If you use your money to…
Buy back your time to spend time with family and friends
Escape a 9–5 job or a bad boss
Invest in assets and experiences
Contribute to charity and causes that you care about
Express how much you care about others
… you’ll be much happier than someone who uses their money to accumulate worthless junk or flaunts their status.
In short, use your money to create freedom and independence. Life is a lot better when it is lived on your own terms.
Life Advice #4: Your hierarchy of self-improvement should be a single-player game.
Compare yourself with who you were yesterday not with who someone else is today.
If you compare yourself with others, you’ll become bitter.
If you compare yourself with yourself, you’ll become better.
Aim to become better, not bitter.
As Peter Thiel says, “competition is for losers.”
Life Advice #5: Everything your mind says your body stores.
Your mind is going to be your great asset or liability.
Invest a lot of your time and money in interrogating the thought patterns that you inherited from childhood. Most of them are maladaptive in adulthood.
For most of your twenties, you’re going to realize how many stories you tell yourself are wrong. You’ll see how they’ve kept you trapped in thought patterns and impacted your romantic relationships or career.
Evolve or repeat. Those are your only choices.
The biggest lesson you will learn by 27? You don’t have to believe everything your mind says.
Thinking is unavoidable. But believing is optional.
Life Advice #6: Don’t let success lock you in with golden handcuffs
The biggest enemy of success is more success.
At 21, you’ve just become the CEO of a local charity. Congrats. Everyone is happy for you. Your parents are proud and your friends are putting you on a pedestal. You’re being asked for media interviews.
You think you’re the big d*ck around town.
You’ve achieved a level of success uncommon for a person your age. You’ll receive awards and accolades for your work. You might think you’ve made it but life has other plans for you.
But your interest and passion for what you do now will change and you’ll have to take 1–2 steps back before you can take 10 steps forward.
Be open to the change and don’t get locked into a career path you don’t really want.
Success now does not equal your destiny later.
Life Advice #7: Most of the friends you have now, probably won’t be your friends later. And you’ll still be happy.
“Most people you think are friends are just lukewarm acquaintances” — Tim Denning
People will come into your life for a season or a reason.
Some might stay for the full length of the journey.
Hold the friends who are still in your life today. 80% won’t be in your life by the time you’re 27. And that’s a good thing. You’ll realize how many people you consider friends are friends just because it's convenient to see them.
Don’t try to hold onto relationships that stop serving you. They occupy space that could be used to invest in more meaningful relationships.
Let go or be dragged.
Life Advice #8: Focus on your direction not how fast you’re going
Don’t rush, you’ve got more time than you think.
It doesn’t really matter how fast you’re doing if you’re headed in the wrong direction.
As James Clear once said, “you should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.”
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
Direction > speed.
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