And no, this is not some male red-pill protest either.

I’m single, and I’m extremely happy.

In our dating-obsessed culture, I know it’s not exactly a popular thing to say.

Most people tell me that I should be looking for love, that I should be dating or in a relationship or some other combination of words that implies I am missing out on the prime of my life.

But I’ve always been a little skeptical of the idea that you have to be in a relationship to be happy or not feel lonely.

I know plenty of people who are coupled up that are miserable and feel isolated.

I mean… have you seen the divorce rates? Yikes.

We’re all capable of being happy and fulfilled on our own, and we don’t need to rely on another person for that.

It’s a Disney fantasy that to live happily ever after we need to have our princess (or prince) charming.

If you’re with someone else and happy. Great.

But if you’re happy alone, don’t feel like something is missing from your life. Here’s why.

Most people have this, not a relationship.

Here’s a huge generalization:

Most people have a dependency, not a relationship.

If you’re always looking for someone else to make you happy or complete, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment — and probably making it harder to find the right person when they do come along.

Too many people are in relationships based on fear and sunk costs.

I know people who stay in subpar relationships because they are scared of being alone or feel that breaking up and finding a more suitable partner would be ‘wasting time’.

The length of a relationship does not equal its quality.

If you are dependent on a relationship to make you happy you are dating your parent or your therapist.

Yuck.

I don’t have to check in or compromise when it comes to my schedule.

I am investing 100% of my time in learning and growth in my 20s.

I am uncompromising when it comes to my self-development.

I’ll happily cancel plans with friends and stay in on Friday or Saturday night to read, study or just spend time exploring the internet.

For me, there’s no better feeling than learning a new skill or finding software that can make my business better or life easier.

This might sound extreme, but taking time to improve makes me a better person for my family and friends.

People don’t put enough time to develop themselves, so they settle for less than they can get.

How do you expect someone to treat you more than you deserve if you don’t even think you deserve it?

The person you are inside is the type of people you attract on the outside.

Learning to be single and alone is something to be celebrated

It’s not always easy, but it’s a necessary part of life.

I won’t lie. I get lonely at times. I took a solo trip to New Zealand and I felt the most lonely I’ve ever felt.

I spent 10 days in an Airbnb by myself, ate every meal alone and explored the beautiful country by myself. Some days, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. It got tough. I craved conversation and physical touch.

But taking time to learn how to be comfortable with yourself and how you spend your time is important.

After I came back, I felt so much more grateful for the people I had in my life. That experience of loneliness made me better at relationships.

It’s important that you know how to be happy when you’re alone so that when you meet someone you’ll know you’re not with them to cure your loneliness.

It’s a moment of growth and introspection, where you get to know yourself better by getting to know what you love about yourself, and what you don’t love about yourself.

It’s also a moment of learning how to give yourself permission to do things that make you happy, even if it involves doing them alone.

The most important relationship is the one you share with yourself.

I can build the foundations of a good life

You can have anything in life, but you can’t have everything at once.

Imagine a life where I could have a career

• Meaningful career

• Financial sustainability

• Loads of time for friends and family

By delaying a relationship and kids until my mid to late 30s, I can focus on building the core foundations of my life.

Too many people try to do everything at once. Career, relationship, education, marriage, kids, and financial sustainability.

That’s a recipe for burnout, mild depression, and a healthy dose of anxiety.

Space it out. Take your time. Delaying even just a couple of years can dramatically reduce your stress.

This provides more time and freedom later to build a satisfying romantic relationship and a connection with my future children.

My time right now is mine and I’m not wasting it on a relationship that’s not going anywhere.

This allows me to focus on my career and personal growth without dividing my attention.

The trap of serial monogamy

Serial monogamy is a trap that keeps many people from ever reaching true happiness.

I’ve been in a few relationships where I thought the person I was with was “the one.” But after we broke up, I realized that we were only together because we were both lonely.

It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of going from one relationship to another, always looking for something better out there.

But what if there’s no such thing as “the one”? What if it’s all about finding yourself and being okay with who you are?

The constant need for companionship is a cover for insecurity. Being able to confront loneliness and feel comfortable being alone makes you bulletproof.

There’s something about being alone that makes me feel more at home with myself than anything else in my life does.

And when I go back out into the world, there’s nothing like knowing that no matter what happens, I always have myself — and my own strength — to fall back on.

I look forward to traveling or staying by myself for an extended period of time. It gives me time to think and understand who I am as a person — not just who other people want me to be.

Do I want to remain single forever?

Of course not.

I want to get married and have kids. Someday.

But in this chapter of my life, being single and happy is a story I haven’t finished writing yet.

Most people don’t ever give themselves this opportunity.

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